If you think that you have experienced bullying or harassment, you should not feel that you have to tolerate it.
Regardless of where it has taken place, the College has a wide-ranging network able to provide support and advice.
Student support in College
Your Student Wellbeing Advisor
The RNCM's Student Wellbeing Advisor is Jane Gray. She can be found in the Registry Office and offers an open door drop-in policy from Monday-Friday, 9:30-12:30 and 14:00-16:00.
Your Students' Union (that's us!)
The RNCM SU can offer free and confidential advice. We're independent from the College and are here to support you. You can get in touch with SU President Kathy Hart, Welfare Officer Cara Houghton, visit their website or drop into our office - we have an open door policy!
Your College counsellors
The college has three counsellors, Bryan Fox, Claire Donoghue and Chaden AlSaadi. The counselling service is free and confidential and sessions take place in the College building. You can also arrange to speak to someone outside of the College if you prefer by contacting your Student Wellbeing Advisor, Jane Gray.
Your Mental Health First Aiders
The College also has four Mental Health First Aiders, who will be able to give guidance and support on a range of issues. Although they’re not a qualified counselling service, they can provide a first response for anyone that is having a bad day by listening to problems, offering support and signposting to any relevant services for further help.
These are Jane Gray (Student Wellbeing Advisor), John Habron (Head of Music Education), Emily Mason (Programmes Administrator) and Dominic Wood (Environment and Operations Manager)
Your new designated Bullying and Harassment Advisors
You can also get advice specifically on reporting instances of bullying and harassment in College from the following designated people in College:
Student Wellbeing Advisor
Environment and Operations Manager
RNCM Students’ Union President
RNCM Students’ Union Welfare Officer
Head of Library Services
You can drop in and have an informal chat with any of these guys or contact them via email. They will treat what you tell them confidentially and will be able to offer advice, discuss your options with you and signpost to further support.
supporting someone else
If a friend or somebody close to you tells you that they have been a victim of sexual violence or harassment, it can be a difficult thing to hear. It can be stressful; you might feel that you have to immediately resolve the issue for them, or you may have conflicting views if you know the person who has perpetrated the harassment. But by providing a calm, encouraging space for them to tell their story in their own words, you can really make a difference.
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Allow them to say what they need to say in their own time and at their own pace. Don’t try and be a counsellor and don’t feel like you have to reply – often just listening is enough.
Tell them it’s not their fault. Nothing they have done or not done has resulted in the experience they have been through.
Remember not to trivialise or minimise what someone is telling you, even if it’s hard to hear.
Stay calm, don’t judge or give your opinion. Make sure your friend knows that you fully accept them and will support whatever they need you to do
Help your friend to make their own choices. Don’t try and push them into making decisions – empower them to be in control of their own decision making
You can’t expect people to react in any one way. Every individual’s experience, and their response to that experience, is unique to them.
Let them know that you care. This experience has not changed who they are or how you feel about them.
Remember to take care of yourself too! Here are a few more things to bear in mind:
You are not a trained counsellor. Your job as a friend is to be supportive and understanding, not to give professional help. If you feel out of your depth, signpost your friend to professional support services or contact them yourself for advice.
Don’t feel responsible for resolving the issue. Survivors are the experts of their own lives and you should trust them to make the right choices and decisions for themselves
Take your needs seriously. If you need to, take a supporter’s break and get some support for yourself. Not taking care of yourself can be damaging to you and your friend.
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